I realized tonight that I am very quick to always assume the negative about people. I’m not a pessimist by any means, but I think because of a lot of things that went down in the past, I have a very hard time always seeing the good in people. I’m constantly searching for the downsides of friendships, so as to protect myself from future hurt. I guess I do this because I don’t want to be caught off guard or surprised by the way a person could act, particularly towards me. I’m not saying that the friends I have aren’t the most amazing people ever, because they are. I love them dearly and without them my life would be drastically different. Really.
I am lucky enough to have a few friends that have stuck with me throughout the years, and for them I am forever grateful. And I have new friends that light up my life. I don’t like this particular trait that I possess, so I want to fix that about myself. I need to focus on the good, the great, the incredible. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so worried all the time that friends would up and leave me? And if it happens, it happens, because God intended for it to happen.
I didn’t really mean for this to be a depressing post, but rather an enlightening one. Every day I learn something new about myself. Most of the time it’s not something that I particularly like about myself, and I am learning and growing and becoming the person that I should be because of it.
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